How my Husband has Shaped Me as a Mom

So it is my husband’s birthday today. It’s his last one before he turns 30, but to be honest I think we are both looking forward to our 30s. Not that our 20s were so bad, but that we are excited for the things we feel God is leading us towards in the next few years. But I wanted to take this opportunity on this Mama Monday to give you a little insight to how Matt has shaped me as a mom.

Side note: my husband’s name is Matt, but we all call him Mutzie, one main reason is that one of my other sisters also married a Matt, but I always get the question, ‘Where did the name Mutzie come from?’ No, I did not come up with this myself; it is actually something that he has had most of his life. One of his grandpa’s was Finnish and in Finnish ‘Matt’ is something along the lines of ‘Mutzie’ so that is where it came from, so from here on out, I will refer to Matt as Mutzie. Ha.

So Mutzie is not a kid person at all so when we found out we were pregnant we had a lot of conversations about what it would be like to be parents. I had all the confidence in the world about being a mom, but Mutz was always unsure how he would be. I would tell him time and again that he would be the perfect dad for our kids because they are his, not anyone else’s. Well I have to tell you that since having our daughter, I have seen Mutz grow in ways that I never anticipated. Instead of me teaching him to be a good dad, he has taught me to be a way better mom. He has helped me learn how and when to step back and let Olive figure it out, he has helped me put so many things in perspective, like when Olive was little and was taking a bottle and I would get all worked up when she would choke a little bit and Mutz said to me ‘What is she going to choke on? She is on a liquid diet!’. Haha. He is truly the perfect counterpart for me in this thing called motherhood and I am so incredibly thankful to God for blessing me with him.

Now I am fully aware that this is my story, that not every husband and dad is there for their wife or kids, or maybe he was taken away too soon, but over the last couple years, God has revealed himself to me through Mutzie time and time again. I realized that if this earthly man loves me enough to go through raising kids with me and battling through the hardship that is life, how much more does God love and support me as a mom.

God wants to be on your side during motherhood, even if your spouse is super Dad, God is always there ready to lend a hand, be a shoulder to cry on and an energy boost when you need it. I know that God can’t physically hold your baby when he or she is crying in the middle of the night, but He can hold you if you just cry out to him. God is your biggest fan and cheering you on saying, ‘Go, Mom, Go!’ ‘You got this’ ‘I created you do to this’ ‘I am right here!’.

Now I think my husband is a rockstar Dad and husband, but he too fails me. He is human for that matter, and I have learned that if I put too much of my hope and trust in Mutz to provide me what I need to be a mom, I will come up short. I have to put God in the number one spot; He has to be the one that I get my strength and identity from. If Mutzie was taken from me, would I still be able to mom and love my kids the way they need? It would be so difficult, but I know that God would be with me every step providing all I need for the situations I find myself in. So why not start living life like that now? Why not be thankful for the blessings of an amazing husband and father to my children, but remember that it is still all about God-that I will always find what I need with and through Him- for that is the only way that I will be able to be the best mom I can be.

So as I celebrate my husband today and the life that he has been given, I celebrate all of you moms too. The moms with awesome husbands who get up in the middle of the night to help with that crying baby, and to the moms whose husbands seem distant or aren’t around at all. Remember that your Heavenly Father is there for you. He is there with you in the middle of the night, during the tantrum that your toddler is throwing, or providing you the wisdom to deal with your teenager. Cry out to him and He will answer, He is the best support that you could get. He knows you better than you know yourself and He is just a prayer away.

So Happy 29^th Birthday Mutzie! I pray that today you feel loved and celebrated by all those around you. I pray that God continues to bless you in your life and that you continue to seek after Him with your whole heart. Thank you for being an amazing example to the world around you and reminding me the type of love and grace that God pours out to His children. You truly are a man after God’s heart and I pray that those that read this can be encouraged by your example. Olive and I love you so much and are so thankful for all you do for us! 

Waiting for something far more valuable

The other day my husband got out of our car and walked over to my side and said, ‘I don’t want you to freak out, okay?’ Now let’s be honest, who would not have the natural reaction to actually freak out after that, but I calmly said, ‘Okay, what?’ He went on to tell me that it looks like someone broke into our car and stole our change bin. Now we had this change bin in our center console that probably totaled a sum of $5 or so-not all that much money, but it was a little tough thinking that someone got into our car. So after reminding myself to stay calm, my amazing husband starting talking about how he prays the money blessed that person and that God can use this to His glory, etc, etc. Pretty awesome response huh? Well I didn’t exactly response as Godly, ha. I was saying things like, what if they broke into the garage and stole it, maybe they took something else, blah blah blah. And my husband’s response really got me thinking, he said-the person who probably stole this just needed something quick, they didn’t take the time to look around and get something that could have been worth more, they just wanted that immediate cash.

I reason why this thief got me thinking was because God revealed something to me in that moment. How often do we just get our quick fix from God and think, ‘that’s all I need’. Rather than putting in the time and effort to find something far more valuable. Now I understand it is weird to compare this stealing circumstance to our faith, but just hear me out.

We live in such a ‘right now’ society. We want that immediate response to make us feel better in that moment, but how long would that moment really last? Like how far is that $5 really going to get that person in life? Not far, but it probably did suffice some immediate need. How many times to do we go to God when we have a problem, He fixes it, and we go on with our life without Him again? Yes, our God is a gracious God that loves His children and will do anything for them, but how disappointing knowing that God could, and usually does, have something far more valuable for us if we were only to take the time to spend it with him.

I spent a lot of my years following God with that mentality, the one where I only go to God when I really needed him, otherwise I could do everything else on my own. It wasn’t until things out of my control were taken from me and I was faced with a choice. I could see God as an unloving, mean father, or one that has a bigger, greater plan for His children and that we needed to chase after that. It took a long time for me to get to that place of contentment with Him. I am still working on that place of contentment, but the more time I spend with God, the more peace I feel in life. The funny thing is that His word tells us that over and over again. “Cast your cares on Him and He will give you peace.” So why is that so hard for us to do?

The reason-because we have to trust in God’s timing, not ours. God isn’t about making things convenient for us all the time. He’s about His kingdom and His glory.  It’s not about us, it’s about Him. The more we can have that mentality, the easier it becomes to sit in His presence for as long as he calls us to.  We cannot know exactly what is around the corner for us, but we can know that when God is leading us, it will be good. It takes hard work and discipline, but when we chose to take the time and effort to pursue our Creator and His plan for us, it will be far more valuable than the immediate gratification we so often want. Good things come to those who wait right? Even if that waiting period is years, God still knows your heart’s desire and dreams for your life. Trust him with those things and allow his presence to transform you to something far more valuable. Praying for you all today! 

Dear Mamas....you are not alone!

Being a mom is hard. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, a mom of older kids or younger-I think we can all agree that this job is hard, but oh so important. I am a mom of an almost 2 year old so I know that my knowledge of being a mom is limited, but something I have realized is that you cannot do this alone. Having support as a mom is so incredibly important, not just for our own sanity but for our kids too. Some of us have the blessing of having a supportive husband, others a supportive friend or family member, but for those of you that are lacking in this department, I pray that God opens up some doors for you because I have seen the blessings come from having other moms in my life to speak truth and make me feel normal.

I have 3 amazing sisters and 1 sister-in-law that have all become moms within a year and a half of each other. One of my younger sisters and I were only 2 month apart in becoming first time moms. God has a funny way of working things out because this younger sister and I have not always seen eye-to-eye over the years, but I think becoming moms so close together was exactly what our relationship needed. We have spent the last almost 2 years calling and texting each other about this and that and telling each other our victories and struggles. Even this morning we talked on the phone and were able to agree that having active toddlers is hard and a lot of days we feel like we aren’t being a good mom. For me, to have someone talk about their struggles and then to think ‘I feel the same way!’ has been such an encouragement as a mom. It is so hard these days not to compare our kids to those around us. Even when we walk into the doctor’s office, we see the percentiles and see how our kids measure up to the other kids in their age group. I have had to fight a lot of lies and struggles over my short time as a mom and I know that I will continue to have to, but having women in my life, real women, who speak truth and reality into me, has really helped me along the way.

You are not the only one struggling. You are not the only one who has questioned whether or not you are being a good mom today. The truth is, you are the perfect mom for your little one. You chose to get up and love your kids everyday and that is the best thing for them. Yes, they will eventually hold their head up, and start to walk and talk and do the things other normal kids do, but remember you are not alone in this. I pray you never feel like you have to walk this alone. If you are searching for support and love and truth, I pray you can find it here. I pray that God can encounter you in your struggles and hard days and show you how much He loves you and cares about you as a mom. Your job is so important, and if no one tells you that today, I will! You are raising little humans! You are doing good work! You may not have a paycheck to show for it or the only things that you do have to show are the dark circles under your eyes, but I get it. We get it. Moms everywhere get it. We are a community of strong, loving, hard working, tired, exhausted moms who just want the best for our kids. So reach out to your mom friends today and tell them they are doing a great job and that you are there for them and that God is there for them. Praying for all you moms today! 

Here's me and my sister with our babies, almost exactly a year ago. All of my sisters and I will all be together next week for Thanksgiving and I cannot wait to get a pic of us with all the new babies that have been born since!! 

Dear Broken,Tired and Afraid....

Man, this week has just been a crazy one! My emotions have been all over the place (that may be due to the fact I am 31 weeks preggo), but not just about our nation, but also personally. This week my daughter has been fighting off the sickness, hand/foot and mouth which is as not fun as the name sounds. So we are on day 4 of sleep deprivation and cartoons. But it was yesterday while I was talking my first shower of the week (thank you Mom life and to my awesome husband for staying home to help out) that I was praying about this nation and my family and asking God to just show up and comfort. I had read so many statuses and updates from people on Wednesday morning that they were afraid and uncertain of the future of America and my heart was broken for these people. This post is not at all about politics or who is right/wrong, but it’s about this epidemic that our country is facing-this sense of feeling afraid, uncertain, broken, and full of pain and hate. So as I was thinking about this, it reminded me of what our family had been dealing with personally the last few days.

So this sickness that Olive is dealing with develops first as a fever that could spike as high as 103. All day on Monday, Olive had a fever and didn’t have much energy. We spent the day cuddling and napping and watching cartoons. Then what happens is that sores develop in and around the mouth, hands and feet. We took Olive into the doctor on Tuesday to find out that her throat was covered in little white sores which explained why she didn’t want to eat or drink much since she was in so much pain. The problem-there is no medication to help with this sickness. It is just pain management and time. I think that is the worst answer you get from doctors because as a parent you want to be able to take away the pain and sickness from your child as soon as possible.

So for the last few days, Olive would wake up just crying in pain because her throat hurt so bad and all my husband and I could do was try to calm her down, rock her, snuggle her, tell her that she was safe  and that we were there for her. It was so hard to watch my daughter deal with that pain, but I knew that is was going to pass soon and that I was doing exactly what I could do at that moment for her.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that this is how God loves us. He tells us in His word that in this world we will have troubles, and pain and things will not go the way we want them too-we do in fact live in a fallen world-but TAKE HEART! God has overcome this world. I just pictured God holding his crying children, just like we held Olive, and holding them tight, whispering ‘It’s gonna be okay, I have you, you are safe and I am always here.’

³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I [God] have overcome the world.”                                      John 16:33

Sometimes it feels like when we follow Christ, we should be able to avoid all bad things, but in fact we are not immune to those things, we do live on earth and this earth is broken, BUT when we surrender to our God, we are given access to heaven and in heaven there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more hurt.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."     Rev. 21:4                         

So my prayer for you, especially those of you that are fearful, uncertain, broken and afraid-God has this. We have to learn to put our trust in Him, not this world. This world is going to be full of disappointment, brokenness, and pain. I am not saying that trusting God will take away all of that, but when we are able to give over to God our fear and anxiety; He is able then to replace that with peace.

“Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” Psalm 146:3

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.”    Psalm 118:8       

Now I am fully aware that there are many people out there that have some pretty big fears about their future, and I am by no means trying to down play that reality, but what I am saying is that there is NO fear that is bigger than our God. That when we are living life with Him, He will show up in those fears. So for those of you that may be experiencing fear and uncertainty, my home is open to you. It is open to have a conversation about those fears and how God can encounter you. This isn’t just a figurative invitation, this is real. If you need to talk about this, come over, let’s do coffee, let’s have a facebook convo over messenger. God has given us this opportunity as Christians to reach those that need love and kindness. And I know a God that overflows with those qualities.

“⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.”                   1 John 4:7-9                       

My prayer is that you can find peace in this ever so fear-filled world. That when you experience pain, you can find comfort in the arms of your Heavenly Father, holding you tight, telling you ‘It’s going to be okay, I am here, you are safe.’ And if you need a physical hug and someone physically telling you that, I will do that, because I can say with full confidence, that because of my faith in God-‘It’s going to be okay, God is here and we are safe.’ 

You are Chosen!

Before I even formed you in your mother’s womb,
        I knew all about you.
    Before you drew your first breath, I had already chosen you
        to be My prophet to speak My word to the nations.

Jeremiah 1:5 (The Voice)

I’ve always looked at this verse as how God knew us even before we were in our mother’s womb, but God open my eyes to something new over the last year or so that made me look at this verse differently. Since becoming a mom almost 2 years ago, I have struggled with what this new season looks like for me. I decided to become a stay at home mom after a lot of failed attempts to find some type of working gig, but after I made that decision, I could not have been happier. Life seems to be going ‘right’ these days as I stay at home and focus on my daughter and growing family. But even though it all seems ‘right’, there are a lot of days that I struggle in my ‘mom abilities’ and doubt what I am doing.

The Lord ever so lovingly reminds me of this verse in Jeremiah sometimes and what he revealed to me some time ago.  Yes, this verse talks about how well God knows His children and the path that He set before us long ago, but it also touches, ever so briefly on the reality of being a mom. God chose YOU to grow and form your children. I remember it was in a mom’s group that I sat, surrounded by all these what seemed like seasoned moms, doubting my abilities,  and God whispered into my heart that He chose ME to be Olive’s mom and He chose Olive to be mine. Now how cool is that? How cool is that intentionality? The reason why I find it so comforting is that God knew well in advance how I was going to be as a mom and how Olive (and our future children) will be. He wasn’t surprised at the struggles that I faced, or the personality that Olive grew into. No, He knew all of that and still chose us for each other. He chose my womb for the place that Olive grew and became herself. What an honor to know that we were meant for each other.

 I love that this wonderful revelation that God revealed to me shows me that I have every ability and skill needed to raise my children and if I don’t have them right now, God is going to teach me those things. My daughter is just a couple months shy of 2, but I always think of what it will be like when she is a teenager and I get overwhelmed. And then God, in his ever so graceful way, reminds me that I don’t in fact have a teenager so why would I think I would know how to handle one? My job as a mom is to be the best mom I can be, my kids are going to make their own choices in life, but if I am doing my job right then I will be able to rest assured that my kids are in the hands of their heavenly father. And let’s be honest, that is the best place they can be.

So welcome to Mama Mondays. These posts aren’t about telling you how to parent or the best ways to do this or that, this is a place to remind you who you are and what you were created to be. It is a place to find encouragement from the One who created you. The One who created you to be a mom, even if you think you aren’t good enough, smart enough, and creative enough…all those things are a lie from the enemy, who is trying to get you to doubt your purpose. God created you to be a mom to your little ones and the thing about God is that He sees the things that He created as good and perfect. You are the perfect mom for your kids and my heart is to remind you of that. I want to tell you how great of a job you are doing in the midst of the struggles and to point you to the one who has your kids in His hands, holding them tight. Reminding you that when you feel weak, God is made perfect in our weaknesses. God has you in this whole motherhood thing. I pray that my experiences, if you chose to read them, will help reveal the purpose and light that He is shining on you as a mom too.